Welcome to Until The End. We are a moderate Harry Potter role-playing site set in the Marauder's Era. Our plot is generally derived from details in the book, but as an AU site we do take liberties most anywhere we like. Those who died in the books can have a second chance at living, and those who lived are always at risk.
Tom Marvolo Riddle has long since disappeared and in his stead Lord Voldemort has risen, bringing a small army with him. The Ministry of Magic has thus far ignored the growing menace that is the Death Eaters and Albus Dumbledore has taken it upon himself to defend the wizarding community from an evil he knows is building. War is coming. Pick a side!
School's Out For Summer
The Hogwart's Express has pulled up to the station in King's Cross station and the summer holidays have officially begun. What mischeif will you get into in the warm summer sun?
*Coming Soon* - Summer Solstice Carnival
Travel by portkey to the biggest summer celebration in wizard society - The Summer Solstice Carnival! There will be food, games, prizes, fun and more!
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 24, 2019 19:59:17 GMT -8
All pretense of respectability quickly flew out the decorative window above them. Lyra, now straddling Julian's lap, pulled at the buttons of his shirt and when her fingers couldn't move fast enough on the small discs, she turned her attention to his trousers. A moan of excitement escaped her lips as Julian's kisses moved to her neck. She let her head fall back, fingers still fast at work. Some form of divine intervention had been at work today, as Lyra was wearing a dress with enough give in the skirt that she was hardly hindered at all as she freed Julian from his trousers and positioned herself atop him. Her head fell over his shoulder, painted nails clawing at his back as she kissed a part of his exposed collarbone, thankful that her fumbling hands had managed to get the first few buttons of his shirt undone before her patience receded completely.
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
"T
here are many things given to us in this life for the wrong reasons. What we do with such blessings, that is the true test of a man."
Julian had heard the words before, but until this very moment he did not understand them. He had spent so much time fighting against his feelings for the woman he now embraced as a poor attempt to shield her from the void in his soul left by his deceased fiance. His efforts were cowardly at best and self serving at worst. Julian didn't deserve Lyra, but she had chosen him and it wasn't his responsibility to change her mind. His responsibility was to change himself. To become worthy. To become the kind of man she did deserve. That responsibility and the vulnerability that accompanied opening his heart up again were enough to drive him away. He was a coward. Because he was a coward he was also a self-serving bastard deciding to run away rather than own up to the pain he had caused the woman he loved.
Talia called Lyra a mistake, but that couldn't have been further than the truth. Lyra had never been a mistake. Whether or not Julian had made mistakes was questionable, ultimately his actions led him to a moment of ecstasy with the woman who made him whole, but he regretted the pain he caused along the way.
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 24, 2019 21:32:52 GMT -8
How her knickers ended up under the marble bench, and her shoes tossed in opposite directions was evident enough for anyone who came upon the scene, but how they had gotten to that point and where they would go from here was less clear. Perspective needed to be taken, but that was never Lyra's strong suit. She jumped in quickly and solved problems along the way, accruing additional ones as she went. Like the dark haired foreign witch who had showered in Julian's room. She posed a problem Lyra didn't quite understand and was only now beginning to consider. Back literally against the wall, Lyra panted heavily as she looked into Julian's eyes. Had she forced him into something he'd regret? Was she ruining a new relationship, a new chance for him to find happiness? As pleasure receded, doubt took its place. "I think we were supposed to be talking," she said, still breathless and not quite ready to unwrap herself from around him.
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
J
ulian's chuckle was deep and echoed in his chest that was close to hers.
"I've missed you woman."
Lyra surprised him with her full range of emotion. He didn't always know what to expect. With the backstabbing and cruelty prevalent in their society it was natural to conceal your true emotions. Nik and Elara were masters at calculated emotions, and Julian could more than hold his own. Lyra was no stranger to public opinion and decorum either, but she seemed to be genuine with them and had no trouble expressing her loyalty or love.
He was in no hurry to move, but they did need to talk, and while he was fairly certain they were in some mystic third dimension in Castle Eire, there was the odd chance that someone might stumble upon them.
Setting himself to rights and collecting stray clothing he took a deep breath. Where to begin?
"I fucked up, Lo." It seemed like a good place to start.
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 24, 2019 22:48:11 GMT -8
Lyra blushed, though it was not as evident with her already flushed complexion, and buried her face in his chest as he claimed to have missed her. Honestly, she hadn't been sure that was the case. He'd been gone nearly a year and in all that time he never wrote to her. He never sent word with an acquaintance or a servant. He'd even agreed with Nik's possibly correct assessment of the end of their relationship. It was nice to hear that she'd been missed, and even better to hear it with the sincerity he presented in his voice.
Absence of his body against hers caused a slight chill despite the summer heat and she missed him instantly, though they were probably beginning to think along the same lines. They were not in the privacy of their own homes nor were they hidden away in room somewhere. They were well in the open, primed for anyone to stroll past and spy them, thankfully Lyra was still mostly dressed though very much disheveled.
Following Julian's lead, Lyra knelt down and gathered up her knickers from underneath the bench where they'd first sat with the presumption they would talk. They'd taken a little detour, perhaps, but it seemed they were getting around to that target. Stepping into her panties, Lyra tilted her head at him. "How so?" she asked ignorantly but sincerely, assuming he was speaking of some more recent fuck up, and not anything to do with their former relationship.
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
H
e laughed again. It was a slightly foreign feeling having his core tighten and produce audible mirth. There hadn't been much to laugh over the past year, but laughter had always been a staple in his relationship with Lyra.
"The fact that you can even ask that is…" he shook his head, but sobered as the reality settled on him. Where did he start? Where was his first "mistake"?
Julian had made many in his short lifetime, but it all started with Belle's death. He fell apart afterward. He used the pain to push everyone away and wallow in self-pity and misery. He made a lot of mistakes immediately after Belle's death, but most of it he could live with. Regret came later. Regret was a haunting image of blonde curls and pale skin growing paler with a stark deep crimson gash and leeching Lyra's life away. That was regret.
Regret was running away and not facing his demons head on.
"I hurt you." he answered finally, "In so many ways."
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 25, 2019 9:38:34 GMT -8
She didn't understand his laughter at her earnest words but she was not offended by it as she might have been in her younger years. She was still intermittently insecure about herself, especially when it came to her obvious lack of understanding of how things worked in this high society she had only ever distantly been a part of. Julian, though, never laughed at her directly and she didn't assume this laughter was dismissive now. On the contrary, Lyra was quite enjoying his laugh. She had missed it. Missed him. So many tiny details of their life together had just vanished when he left, and there was no possible way to replicate that joy in his absence. Others could laugh, but they didn't have the same qualities as Julian's timbre, his smile, the crinkle around his eyes. He laughed, and it was all too obvious to her now how her words have been so obtuse. Of course he'd made mistakes. They'd just shagged in the Sayre's ... wherever the bloody hell they were, all while Julian's new girlfriend sat in a bedroom on the other side of the castle waiting for his return. Lyra pulled the skirt of her dress down and smoothed the wrinkles best she could. She needed shoes still but couldn't be bothered looking away from Julian long enough to find them.
It was true, he had hurt her in the past. But she'd hurt him as well. In Lyra's eye, the pain they had inflicted on each other was tit for tat, but the pain they inflicted on themselves was truly the problem. In Julian's absence Lyra had been seeing a therapist, she was doing better now to an extent, and while she had a long way to go still, she was in a better place. Julian, it seemed, was also in a good place. He had a new relationship and something of a little family.
"And you're worried you'll make the same mistakes again," she offered, closing the space between them in just a few steps. She was the mistake in the equation at this very moment, but his inability to let others in was by far the bigger barrier to him having a successful relationship with anyone. He was adorably willful in his desire to keep people out but it hadn't worked and had only caused problems between them. Even if they had missed their chance to find happiness together, Lyra still wanted Julian to be happy. He deserved happiness and she would always do her best to support it.
Small hands reached out for his large ones. "Just... don't hide from your emotions. It helps to talk. Or paint," she conceded, "but talking, too. You can tell me anything, Julian. Anything. I'll love you no less for your demons just as you've done the same for me. Hiding yourself away won't help anything." Without her heels she was a fair bit shorter than her tall, dark, and handsome lover but the distance had never stopped her before. Rising up onto her toes, Lyra pressed her lips to his. It was meant to be brief but she struggled to pull away. When she finally managed, she smiled and gave a small laugh. "But maybe don't mention to her about all this, then."
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
W
orried he'd make the same mistakes again? No. He'd never make the same mistakes. The lesson was effectively learned. He had more control over himself, his emotions, his actions and he would never lash out at Lyra again, though he couldn't entirely promise not to pull away from her. He was still terrified of hurting her further.
The air between them was still charged despite their hasty passionate encounter, only now the intensity was subtle and less frantic. Her gentle touch and concern for him was affecting him profoundly, and he didn't understand how she could possibly forgive him. The confusion was on his face, but her next comment confused him even more.
"Don't mention to who about all of what?" he asked to clarify.
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 25, 2019 11:29:04 GMT -8
Lyra chuckled. "Exactly," she said as if they were making a little joke but Julian's expression didn't seem to match. He looked genuinely confused, which made her feel much the same way. "Your girlfriend." Did she have to spell it out for him? He'd had a long journey - possibly, she wasn't sure where he was coming from and the woman's hint about Jordan didn't help the geographically challenged blonde at all. Perhaps he was tired and not thinking clearly. That much was evident by his still unfastened trouser button. They'd not been thinking at all about his girlfriend when Lyra jumped on him. "That's what we needed to talk about. Remember? Before..." she gestured broadly to their surroundings. "I'm not judging, Jules. We know I don't have the best track record when it comes to monogomy." She still felt horrendous for the events that transpired between Julian and Mason, but this was completely different. Lyra wasn't friends with Julian's new girl, they didn't even know each other. Yet again, the infidelity was all squarely on Lyra's shoulders and she wasn't even the one cheating this time around.
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
T
he more Lyra spoke, the less Julian understood, and his expression mirrored the confusion he felt.
Girlfriend. Talk. Their talk. Judging. Monogamy. What?
It took him a moment to catch up with Lyra's train of thought and the laughter came earnestly, "Talia?" he barked the question with mirth. The idea was funny to him, but he realized quickly that there hadn't been much time to explain Talia or Farah's presence and while he had intended to talk to Lyra and answer her questions, they hadn't done much of that either.
"Lyra, I am not with Talia." he stated clearly. His hands went to either side of her face as he cupped her cheeks ensuring her attention was fully on him before declaring, "My heart already belongs to someone else."
He raised an eyebrow, "And in case you get any ideas, let me be perfectly clear, it's you. It will always be you."
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 25, 2019 20:32:00 GMT -8
The look on Lyra's face was indescribable. She looked as though she was attempting to solve a very complex maths problem but all of the clues were in some foreign language she did not comprehend. It took a moment to realize they'd been having two completely separate conversations and she now felt impossibly daft for all the things she had said. What had she even said? She couldn't remember, and Julian's hands caressing her cheeks weren't helping any. She looked up into his dark eyes, his words washing over her with an overwhelming amount of weight to them. She broke out into a smile almost instantly. "Say it again," she said brightly. "I've loads of questions but I want to hear it again, first. Tell me you love me."
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
J
ulian was pleased with her happiness, but he was also surprised. How could she not know he loved her? Everything he had done had been because he loved her, and because he was an idiot. He loved her so he pushed her away. He loved her and couldn't stay away from her. He loved her and lashed out at her. He loved her and hurt her. He loved her and left her behind. Just because Julian loved her, didn't mean he made the best choices when it came to how he treated her. He needed to work that part out, but it could wait. The woman he loved had no idea how much she was loved and that was an immediate problem he intended to fix.
He pulled a stray curl back from her face, and spoke with a combination of reverence, sincerity, and cheekiness, "Well uh...as much as I'd love to show you ...", he smirked glancing at the now abandoned bench. He sobered and all that was left was sincerity, "I." he kissed her cheek, "Love." he kissed her other cheek, "You." he kissed her forehead.
The intimacy of the moment caught up with him and her name fell from his lips almost like a prayer, "Lyra..." he mouth hovered just over hers, and in that moment the world disappeared. It was just them.
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 25, 2019 21:42:18 GMT -8
She was on cloud nine and could stay there for all eternity if he let her. Putty in his hands, she practically melted into him as his kissed her forehead. There were so many issues they still had to work out, both with themselves and between each other, but she was willing to put in the effort. She had always been willing. For the moment, however, none of it seemed to matter. She had envisioned this moment for months now. How she would speak to him when he finally returned home, what she would wear, and how long it would take before she gave in and they started snogging in her living room, so rushed for each other that he hadn't even bothered to close the door. Lyra had had nine months to picture every minute detail and hardly any of it she'd gotten right. There was never another woman, never an argument with Nik. Julian had always come to her in her fantasies. It was nothing like she'd imagined and she might have been perfectly alright with that, foregoing a single issue. "Oh bollocks, I really wish I hadn't mentioned that monogamy bit, now." She giggled then kissed him passionately, clawing at him as she pulled herself as close to him as possible.
Snogging was all well and good but she was still a disheveled mess and Julian's trousers were still unbuttoned and they were still standing in the wide open, despite no one having crossed their paths. Lyra instantly had a mental flash of Elara ordering someone to interrupt them and she wouldn't put it past the demanding brunette, nor would she discount Nik's potential efforts in disrupting their reunion, either. She pulled away only a little, wanting to see his gorgeous eyes yet again. "Where were you?" she asked finally, a question she'd been asking for nearly a year now and finally had an opportunity to receive an answer. "And who is that woman? And that child! Why didn't you write to me? I missed you so much!" One question led to another. And another. They flowed from her like a faucet and she was hardly at a place to curb herself. "Is she staying with you? The woman, I mean. I assume that child's hers? It's not yours, is it? Oh bloody hell, just shut me up already!"
just because I loved the person holding the knife."
J
ulian couldn't keep up with Lyra's questions, but it didn't matter. He knew they were coming and he had the answers she sought. He thought her questions about Talia and Farah a bit strange, but otherwise took it all in stride.
When she asked him to stop her he took her hands in his and pulled her to his chest, "I will tell you everything." he promised her.
Still holding her he began the story, "I was in Jordan. After everything that happened...I had to leave."
He swallowed hard. It was still difficult for him to face his actions, he wanted to apologize, but there wasn't an apology strong enough to make up for what he did. It was Lyra's grace that allowed him even this opportunity, and he was in awe of her.
"But it didn't matter. I thought of you every day, truthfully I never stopped..."
He went on to explain that he left with no destination in mind. At first it was just a driving need to get away from the damage he had done - any reference to the affair was met with deep shame, but he continued. Somehow he began to visit holy places. He couldn't forgive himself nor could he face Lyra to receive her forgiveness, thus he had been drawn to religious locations hoping to find redemption there. Which brought him on a pilgrimage of sorts to Jordan, but was still a hopeless mess. His drunken behavior caused a bar fight and he struggled with another man. That man was later found dead and Julian accused of his murder.
He paused, his throat sore from speaking.
"I didn't kill him." he clarified, then admitted with shame, "But I didn't know that at the time, and it was sobering enough to make me realize just how far gone I was. The man I was accused of murdering had a wife and small child." he nodded hoping she understood where he was going with that piece of information, but clarified, "You asked who Talia was and Farah is the child you saw me with."
It was a longer story, full of betrayal and deceit, but they had already been gone for hours. Nik was surely looking for them if no one else was and Julian's trousers were still undone.
Post by Lyra Ophelia Nott on Jul 25, 2019 23:12:12 GMT -8
The story started off well enough, and while Lyra didn't enjoy being reminded of Julian's departure, she did like the bits about him missing her. It was selfish but she adored hearing how much he loved her. After that, however, the story veered off into a troublesome tale that Lyra all together did not approve of. The idea of Julian being so utterly lost was painful to her but it was nothing compared to hearing he was on trial in a foreign country. For murder, no less! She asked questions along the way, gasped a fair few times, and even welled up a little at one point. It was all very good story telling on Julian's part and he managed it well with all the distractions from Lyra hugging him tightly whenever he remembered a particularly sad part (or, at least, Lyra interpreted it to be a sad part of the story), and the couple managing to gather up the rest of their things and make themselves presentable for the Sayres and their assorted guests.
"You've a present when you get home," Lyra remarked as the conversation lulled and they turned the corner into an adjoining corridor. She hoped Julian knew where he was going because Lyra was rather lost. "You missed your birthday but I wanted you to have something when you returned. Not sure where the servants would have put it, I don't think they fancied me leaving it on the dining table for a month." She'd gone over to Julian's manor several times in his absence but despite having been made the owner of it, or guardian, or something Lyra still hadn't wrapped her head around, she couldn't bring herself to stay there without Julian. She kept her little flat and started a savings vault at Gringotts, but every once in a while she'd buy a little gift for Julian. First it was a Christmas gift. Then Valentine's. A gorgeous vintage frame she thought would look lovely on one of his paintings that she bought for absolutely no reason at all. Then his birthday. He was due for another one but now Lyra assumed they could just shag and he'd be happy with it.
Talk of the past slowly turned to plans for the future, the immediate future that is. Lyra asked to handle Nik and Elara, having heard she'd slapped Julian had caused another gasp, a round of apologetic kisses, and a teasing joke. They made plans for the following day but Lyra didn't want to leave him. It was a disgusting display of affection before they finally separated, Lyra eventually conceding that perhaps they ought to find the toddler a place to rest after a long trip at sea. She kept to herself her uneasiness with Talia staying at Julian's castle but he seemed to recognize something in her expression and kissed her forehead, assuring her they would spend the day together tomorrow and he would answer as many questions as she could throw at him. Lyra agreed happily, not thinking at all about the important business meeting she'd scheduled for the following day.